Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Things I learned in 2011

1.   In times of crisis, treat yourself like a toddler who has a terrible flu. Be as kind to yourself as humanly possible.

2.    If you secretly believe someone everyone “loves” is really an asshole, you’re probably not alone.

3.    Whether it’s your church or your bathtub, spend time, regularly, in a place where you are accepted exactly as you are, and are reminded that there is something bigger at work. 

4.   Do not spend time in a dysfunctional environment, even if you are getting paid for it.

5.   Don’t let anyone treat you with disrespect, NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE.

6.    If your partner loses a parent, imagine, as often as possible, how you would feel if you lost one of yours.  

7.    It is almost impossible to support someone during a difficult time if you yourself don’t have support.  It’s like a single column trying to hold up an entire building.

8.     It’s almost impossible to get support if you don’t ask for it. 

9.    It IS impossible to get support from people who aren’t supportive.  (Seems easier to figure out than it is.)

10. Letting go of the people who can’t support you may result in the mysterious appearance of people who can.

11. No matter how terrifying it seems, say goodbye to someone who is dying.  For the rest of your life, you’ll be glad you did.

12. If possible, spend a few days a year somewhere where there is no phone, no internet, no TV reception, no cell phone reception and no other people.   Try not to recall horror movie plots while this is happening. 

13. It is possible to lead a happy life without cheese.

14. Don’t trust anyone who doesn’t thank you for homemade cookies.

15. If someone really rubs you the wrong way, chances are it’s because of a really old part of you you’re not paying attention to.

16. Just like muscles don’t happen if you don’t exercise, positive thinking doesn’t happen if you don’t practice it.  It takes effort, and concentration.  It takes recognizing that negative thoughts are no more “real” than a positive ones.  When in doubt, find the company of someone who’s been doing it for a long time.

17. Stop being afraid all the fucking time!  But be nice to yourself when you are. (See #1.)

Let's hear it for 2012.


  1. Dude, this was pretty damned perfect. I actually "lol'd" (and I never lol)for the horror movie plot-line. So glad we met, I can't tell you how much.

  2. Okay, so I am going to keep this list and refer back to it every few months as a reminder.
    We often have to live through it to learn from it. Or hope to gain a glimmer of insight from someone else's wisdom and experience.

  3. Here here! Great list I do say I do say

  4. Sorry to throw a negative in here... but I have to refute #13. There is no way when that cheeseboard comes out I'm saying no!

  5. Beth, I totally agree... it is only out of necessity that I have had to turn away from my own personal Cheesus.

  6. All so true Dude! Loved this post, although I too wonder how I could live without cheese :( xoxo

  7. Great post. Terrific list. Read it late at night and didn't comment then because #11 made me cry so much thinking about my mom's passing and how grateful I am that we had talked about it and promised to stay in touch.
    But I had to come back today and leave a comment to also tell you that #2 has sustained me quite a few times lately... as I am sure it will in the future. :)

  8. Awesome list chickie, biggest for me is #8, learned that a while ago the hard way but its still tough. Do you collect things like this all year, or do you just sit down and bang out the wisdom? :)

    and no, you cannot live a life without cheese, bacon is up there as well :P