Monday, February 4, 2008

Diary of an Almost-Fulltime Writer

Day 1

9:08am: Drink hot water with lemon (good for the liver, apparently.)

9:28am: Make smoothie with protein powder (good for the brain, apparently.)

9:49am: Walk Ruble

10:08am: Research my report Living Montreal this week (although do not actually make any phone calls as it’s obviously far too early.) I'm going to talk about locally-made chocolates.

10:10am: Find further proof that chocolate is good for the brain, too. In order to cover all the bases, eat some of that, too.

10:20am: Official First Phone Call from former job, asking where some things are and how other things work. Obviously I can’t turn off the phone as an emergency could arise. I wonder when the mail’s coming?

3:30pm: Get showered, dressed and take the bus through the fog downtown. Walk around, buy two pairs of pyjamas as I will obviously be wearing them a lot more often.

6pm: Somehow turn simple dinner plans into beet, spinach and goat cheese salad with candied walnuts – a recipe which would normally scare the pyjama pants off me. The Greek pronounces it delicious and claims he likes it when I “stay at home”. I point out that I did actually work today, but he’s so busy eating I don’t think he hears me.

11pm: Get into bed with my iPod and listen to the podcast of “Dave Cooks the Christmas Turkey,” even though it’s January 6th. I also bought a Christmas ornament for the Greek this afternoon, but it’s very multi-seasonal. Feeling incredibly optimistic about the new year, go to sleep.

Day 2

4am: Am jolted wide awake by burning sensations in esophagus and chest. Could it be the beets? Eventually, after much tossing and turning, I fall asleep again.

Only to have NIGHT TERRORS.

I am almost 31 years old, and have never had night terrors in my life. Yet I am certain, lying there in my room, that large, multi-legged creatures are coming to get me in the night. Is this what I get for following my bliss? Shouldn't it be unicorns, or at least rainbows?

FINALLY, I fall asleep properly and dream that the Greek and I are attending Paris Hilton’s birthday party, with about 10 of her brothers and sisters, who are all blonde but actually pretty nice.

10am: Wiped. Obviously writing about frolicking on the beaches of Greek islands is out of the question. I do interviews for my column instead.

10:45am: More chocolate.

12pm: Ruble comes to visit me in my office, chewing on a small, round, button-like object. I have no idea what it is, so I put it on the kitchen table and forget about it.

12:45pm: In the middle of making the bed, I realize my teddy bear, who I brought in for comfort last night, is missing his nose.

12:49pm: Ruble and I are not speaking to each other.

3:30pm: I take Ruble to the dog park.

Day 3

9:49am: I keep finding little signs that I’m doing the right thing. For instance, today, my Chatelaine yearly e-horoscope says

Aries, you’re a rising star January 9th to 23rd, thanks to a long-awaited job opportunity or career coup.”

Isn’t that fantastic? Also, the letter from the editor in the December 07/January 08 issue of ReadyMade says this about New Year’s resolutions:

Nothing is gained by sitting still. Ignore the obvious things, like shedding a few pounds or quitting this or that vice, and consider doing something really bold. Whatever has been bubbling beneath the surface – starting your own business, writing a book, building something grand… nothing short of risking it all really works.”

Did you read that? Writing a book!!!

I feel I should post these on my wall for inspiration, but fear I will become like one of those crazy old ladies, whose walls are covered in magazine and newspaper clippings and pictures of dolls.

10:06am: Post them anyway.

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